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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28269165">hold me to your chest / so I shall not shatter again</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talvenhenki/pseuds/Talvenhenki'>Talvenhenki</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Merlin (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff without Plot, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sharing a Bed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:15:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>953</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28269165</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talvenhenki/pseuds/Talvenhenki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lancelot, completely spent, shows Leon a vulnerable side after it becomes clear that Lancelot cannot handle his emotions alone.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lancelot/Leon (Merlin)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>hold me to your chest / so I shall not shatter again</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is related to my previous work, but can be read as an individual story. I just wanted some shameless Leoncelot fluff and to give Lancelot the chance to wind down.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After the last one of their friends had left, Leon closed the door and took a careful look at Lancelot. He was so sad, looking utterly spent. He had stopped talking half an hour earlier, resorting to nodding and shaking his head. It was a miracle that he was even sitting upright by that point, having lost all his energy. Leon could almost see how exhausted Lancelot was, with the way he hung his head low and how empty his eyes were.</p><p>Sitting next to his dear friend, Leon wrapped his arm around Lancelot’s shoulders, pulling him close. Lancelot wrapped his arm around Leon’s waist and sighed.</p><p>“You should take that potion”, Leon breathed, “did Gaius give any instructions?”</p><p>Lancelot nodded. “A few drops to a cup of water. I’ll get up in a minute.”</p><p>“No, stay here”, Leon said and stood up, “I’ll get it for you. A few drops, right?”</p><p>“Right”, Lancelot whispered, “a few drops.”</p><p>Even Lancelot’s voice sounded exhausted. There was none of the warmth, none of the mischievousness that made it Lancelot’s voice. It was a hollow voice that could just barely be used for speaking.</p><p>Lancelot had not slept since the mission at the raided village. It had reminded Lancelot too much of his own home, with the surviving little boy and all. Lancelot had spiralled and Leon had only been able to look from the side lines as Lancelot tried to work through the trauma he’d lived through as a child. Leon had been worried about Lancelot before that since he’d noticed that Lancelot had the tendency to push others away and show a brave face against the pain he felt.</p><p>“Here”, Leon said, having filled the cup with water and dropped exactly three droplets in it, “this should help you get some sleep. You won’t mind if I stay?”</p><p>Lancelot looked up at Leon, accepting the cup. “<em>Please</em>”, he breathed, “please stay.”</p><p>Leon had never heard such a plea from anyone, least of all Lancelot. He found he couldn’t refuse, because doing so could just shatter Lancelot once and for all. He couldn’t refuse, because the plea had been the most vulnerable he’d ever seen Lancelot, even after the time Lancelot had trembled in his arms on that clearing. If Lancelot was asking Leon so directly to stay, Leon could not refuse.</p><p>“I will”, Leon found himself saying, “I’ll be here the whole night. The bed surely will fit us both.”</p><p>Lancelot nodded and drank the contents of the cup. “It will. I usually take up just one fourth of it.”</p><p>Leon smiled. “Then, better to go to bed. Do you need anything else?”</p><p>Lancelot shook his head. Kicking off his shoes and discarding his shirt on the floor, he lay down on his bed. Leon kicked off his own boots and discarded his belt before snuggling close to Lancelot, wrapping his arms loosely around Lancelot’s waist.</p><p>For a moment, it felt almost cosy.</p><p>Suddenly, Lancelot began trembling again. Leon immediately propped himself up against his elbow to see what was going on. To his surprise, he saw that Lancelot’s eyes had teared up, and that Lancelot was powerless against this new kind of emotion he was feeling.</p><p>“Hey”, Leon breathed, “it’s okay. I’m here.”</p><p>Gently, Leon guided Lancelot to roll over to face him. Lancelot was covering his mouth and, when Leon pulled Lancelot close against his chest, he whimpered quietly. Leon rubbed his back, trying to massage some of the pain away.</p><p>“I don’t understand”, Lancelot whispered, “I – I don’t understand where these tears came from, I –”</p><p>“When was the last time anyone decided to show you kindness even after you’d tried to push them away?” Leon asked as softly as he could. “When was the last time you let anyone see how exhausted you truly are, how much you just need to be held? When was the last time you even had a decent hug?”</p><p>When Lancelot could not give an answer to any of Leon’s questions, Leon sighed. “I didn’t realise you needed it this much. You should let it all out. I can’t promise it’ll make everything good again, but at least you’ll have some peace of mind.”</p><p>Lancelot pressed his face against Leon’s shoulder and sobbed. Leon kept rubbing his back, whispering soothing nothings to comfort him. Lancelot was shaking with each sob, almost like something old, something big and ugly, tried to make its way out of Lancelot. He was massaging his chest – was he in pain? – and gasping for breath.</p><p>Suddenly Lancelot scrambled up to take some deep breaths in a sitting position. Leon sat up as well, wrapping his arms around Lancelot to show him comfort and to make sure he felt safe.</p><p>“You’re alright”, Leon said softly, “I’ve got you. I won’t let anything hurt you, okay?”</p><p>Trembling, Lancelot nodded. He allowed Leon to pull him back down, nesting his head on Leon’s shoulder. Although the tears were mostly gone, a few sobs still escaped Lancelot’s throat occasionally.</p><p>“Did you get it all out?” Leon asked quietly. “Need any water?”</p><p>Lancelot sniffled. “Think I did. I’m good. Well, not good-good, but good enough.”</p><p>“That’s progress”, Leon whispered, “I’m proud of you.”</p><p>“Thanks”, Lancelot breathed.</p><p>Leon knew that the things plaguing Lancelot wouldn’t be over in one night, but he was glad to see that Lancelot had accepted the help he needed. He was proud, not just because Lancelot had made progress, but also because Leon had been the one Lancelot had allowed on his side.</p><p>“Now, try to sleep”, Leon said, “if you have a nightmare, I’ll help you through it. You won’t be alone.”</p><p>Hugging Leon a bit tighter, Lancelot whispered again, “thank you.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Comments fuel my soul!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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